From Career to Chaos: The Reality of Becoming a Stay-at-Home Mom

It’s funny how society makes the term full-time mom or stay-at-home mom sound so…empty. Like I’m just here, passing the time, twiddling my thumbs while my kids raise themselves. Yet in the same breath, I feel so incredibly thankful and privileged to be home with them. To not only be their mom but also their teacher—not just academically but in life.

I absolutely love being a mom. It is, by far, my favorite role—besides being a wife. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy. Some days, I genuinely question my sanity. Like when the third kid sprints through the house, butt naked, pushing a baby doll stroller at full speed while the other two are locked in a passionate verbal battle over whose drawing is the best. Naturally, this dispute escalates until one starts ripping up the other’s artwork—right as a group of peaceful hikers strolls past our house with a front-row view of the madness.

It’s chaos. It’s loud. It’s a lot. And yet, I love it.

The Hardest Job I’ve Ever Had (And It’s Unpaid?!)

And here’s the thing—I know this role is harder and more exhausting than any job I’ve ever had. Working full-time for a company? That was easier. I had clear expectations, performance reviews, even (gasp!) lunch breaks. Now? My bosses are small, demanding, and wildly inconsistent. They yell “THIS IS DISGUSTING!” when I make them a meal they loved yesterday (don’t worry, I don’t give in and they eventually eat it…) I have to submit snack requests on demand, and I’ve been informed that my PTO (personal time off) request for a bathroom break has been denied.

If this were a corporate job, my LinkedIn profile would look something like this:

Full-time CEO of Household Operations
Job responsibilities include—but are not limited to—conflict resolution, food distribution, educational facilitation, emotional regulation coaching, and 24/7 crisis management. Compensation package includes endless sticky hugs, unsolicited ‘I love yous,’ and a severe lack of alone time.

The workload is brutal, the hours are relentless, and yet, there’s this unspoken expectation that because it’s unpaid, it’s not real work. And that leads me to the other struggle I didn’t expect—the guilt.

Why Do I Feel Guilty for Spending Money on Things We Actually Need?

Every day, I wrestle with this weird, nagging guilt that I’m not “providing” financially for my family. Why!? Why do I feel like I need to justify every purchase when no one expects a corporate employee to feel bad for using their paycheck to upgrade their office chair? But me? I’m over here sweating bullets about a much-needed kitchen renovation, like I’m sneaking diamonds out of a jewelry store.

It’s ridiculous, really. I know that the work I do is valuable. I know that being home with my kids is a privilege. And yet, that pressure to contribute in a financial sense still lingers. Like somehow, the countless hours I spend pouring into my kids, running our home, and keeping our family afloat don’t count.

The Truth About This Job

But here’s the reality: I may not be depositing paychecks, but I’m investing in something even bigger—raising kind, curious, (occasionally naked) humans who will one day run the world. I am their safe place, their teacher, their referee, their constant. And that? That is providing.

So no, I don’t have a salary. I don’t get bonuses or paid time off. But what I do have is a front-row seat to my children’s childhood. And at the end of the day, no amount of money could ever be worth more than that.

Would I trade this job for anything? Never.
Would I still love an actual lunch break and a little less guilt? Absolutely!

Should I feel guilty for when I was working? No! Should I feel guilty for not working anymore? Shut up – I am still working! Just not paid. Should any other mothers feel guilty for being a paid working mom or an at home mom or both? No way!